Chapter 5 (clever title that is both ambiguous and makes sense at the same time)

Ms Moose manages to collect herself just in time to dodge a kick from the guy in the moose costume (who formerly had nothing to do with the story but now is a central plot thingy). she looks over to Canada, who is busy trying to relay orders to the ducks, but failing almost hilariously.  the copper pipe, having rolled himself into a spring like shape (but not quite a spring) [im beginning to think that the narrator is an idiot - ED] rolls ominously toward the moose costume guy as if to do horrible things to him. Meanwhile, the fish twins are busy figuring out living arrangements now that they share a fish bowl. When all of a sudden, out of nowhere, comes a flying boot. Ms Canada winks at the twins as we cut to the Manager unconcious outside in a heap. as it turns out, both Ms Moose and Moose costume guy both thought it was low to steal a sentient fish’s only form of locomotion. after the cease fire was over, (having lasted all of three minutes), Ms Moose and Moose Costume Guy stare each other down anime syle, with action lines courtesy of the Copper Pipe and Canada and run at each other in super slow mo. [yup. the narrator is an idiot - ED] Taylor begins to work that boot furiously as Geoffry begins the arduous task of constructing weaponry from a fishbowl. giving up on that for being a ridiculously bad idea, He realizes that he still has the Potato Peeler of Girth (a gift from the Bartender who could only speak in double entendres). Geoffry Yells “CHARGE!” and they begin the attack. all the while, Canada and the copper pipe are trying to get a swarm of ducks (three full flocks and a few strays who had nothing better to do on a tuesday night) to attack a guy who looks like russel brand. Copper Pipe is tapping furiously “--. . - /  .... .. -- /  -.-- --- ..- /  ..-. --- --- .-.. ... /  .-- .... .- - /  .. ... /  ... --- /  .... .- .-. -.. /  .- -... --- ..- - /  - .... .. ... /  - .... .- - /  -.-- --- ..- /  -.-. .- -. .----. - /  ..- -. -.. . .-. ... - .- -. -.. “ [GET HIM YOU FOOLS WHAT IS SO HARD ABOUT THIS THAT YOU CAN'T UNDERSTAND - ED] and Canda, wh has no idea what just happened, falls on on the ground and gets a nasty goose egg on his forehead. In an uncharacteristic flash of brillinace, Canada goes for his trusty duck call, only to find it missing. Moose Costume Guy looks at him sheepishly and says “Looking for this? MUAHAHAHAHAHURK” seeing an opportunity, Ms Moose takes the opening and runs into Moose Costume guy at a brisk speed. by this time, The Twins catch up to the fray, and decide that they have to put their four cents (get it? 4 cents because there are two of them? this is comedy gold people)[i’m sorry for that. it seems our humble narrator might have actually snapped. i think im going to put him to bed now. - ED]

What will happen next to our Brave heroes? will the mighty potato peeler finally peel something? tune in next time to find out.

a twitter update that spawned a (decreasingly) short story

Chapter two
when last we left our heroes, the narrator was having an ADD moment and a flash of bigotry guilt. The Fish (whose  name is Taylor, which only adds to the narrator’s confusion of gender) had just ordered a “half and half, hold the hot sauce”.  Taylor was wondering what was taking so long for a simple watered down beer, hopped out of his(her? still not sure here) fishbowl and went back to pay a visit to the bartender at the Old #1 (the new #1 was being built around the corner, but kept mysteriously catching on fire). What (s)he saw, (s)he could not comprehend. the manager was trying to peel potatoes, but, being from new jersey, was having a time of it. The Bartender was trying to teach the manager how, using only double entendres. The manager was becoming more and more frustrated with The Bartender, (although, when The Manager hired The Bartender, she was aware of this odd speech impediment). Then Taylor the fish says “get out of my way, im part irish, this is genetic”(something the narrator has to say to his roommate at least once a month, regardless of the presence of potatoes).  The narrator, who has grown weary of typing about a fish whose gender he can’t ascertain(a fact he continues to feel bad about[maybe he should just ask the fish how to tell-ED]) decides that this would be a good point to switch back to Ms. Moose and Senor Canada.  They had just walked into the bar at which the copper pipe had found himself, who at this point was helping a frat boy shotgun beer. Our intrepid heroes throw open the swinging doors (only to realize that they are spring loaded) and promptly are hit in their respective faces. after that bit of schadenfreude, the copper pipe comes up to them and says “.-- . .-.. .-.. / .... . -.-- / - .... . .-. . / .. / -.. .. -.. -. .----. - / . -..- .--. . -.-. - / - --- / ... . . / -.-- --- ..- / --. ..- -.-- ... / ... --- / ... --- --- -.” (duh he would talk in Morse code, copper pipes don’t have mouths. also he moves by bending himself into various shapes, i guess. use your imaginations) [translation “well hey there i didn't expect to see you guys so soon”-ED] Ms moose starts to reply when she realizes that she doesn’t know morse code. She turns to Canada, who only knows the first half of the morse alphabet, having used up his thirty days on the free trial. he takes a stab at it, and gets it right. Ms. Moose says we’re sorry we told you to get bent. Canada (and the narrator for that matter) finally gets that, and again, doubles over laughing. Ms moose, who has been on several adventures with Canada, smacks him upside the head with her hoof. (moose have hooves, right? im not sure anymore).
To hear the reply, you will have to wait for part three.