a twitter update that spawned a short story

A Moose, Canada, a copper tube, and a 17 year old fish walk into a bar. The bartender says "the fish can stay, but i dont want the rest of your kind here." So, the moose and Canada tell the copper tube to go get bent, (because canada can't tell male moose apart from female moose, and is too polite to swear in front of what he assumes is a lady) and go off to find some cheap thrills. Canada suggests  a hockey game, but the moose will have none of it. (As it turns out, it was a female moose, and apparently girl moose don't like hockey). the moose then suggests that they find another bar, and Canada is all wait, you can talk? at this point the moose is a little frustrated, because she wants to get her drink on.  The Moose says "yes i can talk, but then again, you are canada, so yeah. Maple syrup or something. pretend i said a joke."  Then, Canda, who is all sorts of unshakeable, and very polite, pretends that the moose said a really funny joke, and doubles over laughing.  The moose is at this point, terribly confused, and even more thirsty.  She proceeds to verbally berate Canada, and then the two go looking for a bar. at the next one they find Mr Copper pipe, who is very busy imbibing beer and sharing it with the frat boy behind him.  at this point, the narrator grows weary of the antics of  Ms. Moose and Senor Canada, switches the tale back to the 17 year old fish (who shall remain genderless because the narrator can't tell fish genders, and feels like a horrible bigot for it) and we find him in bar #1(a title that explains the snobbiness regarding countries and large mammals) drinking tap water mixed with beer. (fishes are light weights.) fish then says to the bartender "hi" can i get another half and half, this time hold the hot sauce"

WHat will become of our noble group of intrepid souls searching for a good time?
tune in next time to find out.

Fear

Yesterday I put up two of the best mixes of my career. I'm not just saying that because I think that I am awesome. I say that because for the first time in months, people came up to me and said so. Usually, they go up to Louis and tell him that everything sounded good, and I hear it second-hand. Then in CR I had even more people comment the mix. Here's the thing though. I was exhausted. not just tired, Exhausted. This got me thinking. It took me a while, but i figured it out. In my exhaustion, i was too tired to care. I had lost the fear of failure. yesterday should have sounded like crap. It didn't, because i wasn't afraid to suck. When we lose that fear, we achieve amazing results. But by losing that fear, we leave ourselves open to pride. I don't have it figured out, but if i don't get it down I'm gonna lose it.

More good stuff here Kids

Ok, so you know those big pencils and big crayons and big magic markers you used in Kindergarten and First grade, and maybe second if you felt like it? well, i never could use those, i had to use normal everything,because I am in fact awesome. Or it could be because of this








Glad i could help.

Faces in Places

So, i have this habit of seeing faces in inanimate objects. It's kind of debilitating. So, to cope i find things that i see to have a face and i put "finishing touches" on them. So i set out with some scrap paper and a sharpie, and I put a face on a copier


A Jacob Sanders-worthy pun

Then there was the video Camera

"Hey Doc, does this look bad to you?"
then the Doctor says "HOLY SHNIKES what is a cyclops doing in my office?"

and then I said to myself "Wait a tic, (because when i do faux-art stuff like this i speak Brit) I have Photoshop." so i started photoshoping them. Here they are, in their glory.


This one I was all 'cheer up emo kid'



Look at this guy. He has no idea where he is or how he got there, but he is all sorts of excited about doling out coffee



Not a face, so much as something i have wanted to so since i came on staff


This is the face of an inanimate object that loves his job.


This guy's all "Wait, is something on my face? Get it off! GET IT OFF!"

I think I'm happier with the paper ones, but that was work.

Thursdays

So, yeah. I hate Thursdays. Like Jason Brown hates Clowns. Anywho, so yeah. Today was a classic example of a Thursday. I woke up late, and ran to work. after that, i realized that i was out of coffee. the good stuff, and all that the station had was some half caff nonsense, i don't know. And then i called Kristi to make sure she wasn't sick or anything, and she says she is on her way. not ten minutes later, i get a voicemail, as my phone gets no signal in the studio, and wouldn't you know it, Kristi's car broke down on the side of the road. i call her back, (which requires going outside) and she says she might have a ride, maybe not. i freak out, and go into what i like to call "instinctive batman" mode, and i call everyone i need to call, but for some reason, i do this in a low sort of growl, and it was very batman-ish. well, i couldn't get ahold of the backup, so we get ready to air yesterday's show, and with 20 minutes to go, Kristi strolls in. so, we get ready to do the show live, and with seven minutes to go, we have a quick power outage. great. anyway, we get the computers back up and running. and do the show. That's the kind of day that I'm having. it's not over, not by a long shot. How do you guys handle days like that?

Something Was/Is Off.

So, today I had the privilege of running sound in our Early Traditional Communion service. I love the Old Folks, i love being Blessed by taking communion from John Coomer (My Yoda, because everyone needs a Yoda). But something was missing. and i realized what it is. Dean. Dean Maggard. Dean was the greeter/communion setter-upper. He died last week. Dean had this voice, it was a great old fashioned radio voice, kind of like a John Houseman meets James Earl Jones thing. It wasn't the 8:15 without Dean saying at least Hi. He always had something nice to say. I'm going to miss him. more than i can adequately describe. His funeral is Monday, and it will be one of if not the hardest funeral that i have ever done. if you get second or two, Pray for Kittye, his wife. she was also generally awesome, and his longtime partner in crime. i can't imagine what she is going through right now. Also, if you don't mind, i'll take a few prayers if you don't mind, because like I said, the one's gonna be tough. But through all of this, I need to remember that God is good, all the time.

creepy

ok, so i have this recurring night mare,
a midget clown is chasing me with a cartoonishly large knife, and i can't escape not matter what i do sometimes i stand and fight, sometimes i just keep running, but i never make it he always stabs me and then i wake up
If anyone has any ideas, let me know.
i tried Googling it, but i only came up with generic stuff about the clown being a stranger. Seriously, if anyone can help, that would be great. Thanks.